Hello beautiful and Welcome! I’m so glad you decided to visit my little world today. I hope you all have been doing well in these trying times of lockdowns and quarantines. If you already know me from my previous blog Phuck It Fashion, welcome to my new world. If you’re completely new, welcome and nice to meet you! 🙂 I’ve been longing for a change for the longest and finally decided to go for it! I’ve grown incredibly in the last few years and feel like a completely new person compared to my „old me“ when I was in my early twenties. I want to translate that into this new blog of mine. Also I just want to get back to blogging in general! I genuinely missed it so much. I missed the shootings, the connection with other people all around the world I created and all the creativity I was able to express and share. I want to get back to that and so much more! I’m so excited to share all of the beautiful amazing things I’m about to create. Here it is, my new blog aka my new baby. Grab yourself a yummy drink and dive into my world.
Lifestyle
CREATING. DREAMING. CHOOSING MYSELF. ✨
Getting my creativity and dreams back! Long time no see, my loves! It truly has been a long while since I posted. Babes, many many things have happened in the last few years. I got my first big girl job, which was quite the demanding position, and then discovered I was neurodivergent! Turns out – I’m autistic with a sprinkle of ADHD! The last few years have led to many other discoveries about myself, various family members and friends. I realized I had tried to quiet that voice that wants so much more out of life, that wants to experience and create – art, love, connections. I tried to force myself to live like “normies” and to give up my “unrealistic” big dreams and seeing the struggles with my neurodivergence, be content with what I have achieved so far. And then came Olandria Carthen, my God! I have never watched an episode of Love Island in my life (and honestly do not plan to do so in the future). However, I was intrigued with her from the second I saw her in a video on TikTok, and of course I was hooked! #nicolandrianation She is so fascinating to me and not just because of her looks. However, in my humble opinion – she is as close to perfection as you can humanely get. Watching her come out of that (hateful and jealous ahh) villa, strategizing and building her team, all while being inundated with vitriol, I was in awe. The run she has had and will continue to have is so amazing to watch! The grace with which she handles all the attention, the good and the bad, is nothing short of admirable. © Stanlophotography Olandria has inspired me to return to my dreams, to believe in myself and the image I have for my future life. I lost sight of it for a while because I let other people’s opinions and voices be louder than mine. But I can’t fully blame it on that. Another huge factor was having to process my late discovered neurodivergence and feeling like all the things I have always wanted in life were out of reach as I had much more limits than the average person. Screw that though! What I want is to create a beautiful space and community, especially for my neurospicy babes! What I want is to model and get paid wearing pretty clothes. What I want is to travel. What I want is to be free to create and to live how I want to. What I want is so much more! I’m done shrinking myself to fit into boxes I was never meant for.This is me choosing my dreams loudly, unapologetically, imperfectly. I’m finally listening to my voice again. And this time, I’m not quieting it. Well, I ought to get started, right? So here I am again. Creating. Dreaming. Choosing myself.This space will be chaotic, magical, honest, alive and free – just like me. If you’ve ever felt too much, too different, too dreamy for this world: you’re not alone. Welcome home. I hope you follow me on this journey. <3
